Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Foods I love, part I

As an addition to my running posts regarding "Foods I hate" (part 2 here), I have decided to escape the often-negative voice that many of my posts embody and show my positive side. Therefore, logic would dictate a post about foods that I love. These are foods that I am always willing to hastily absorb into the bottomless pit of my beautifully man-figured body at any moment of any day. I will share with you the foods that make my world go 'round, and since I am quite eligible at the moment, a sneak-peek at the quickest way to my heart.

Skyline Chili
Yeah, I know there's 850 calories in just one of these bad boys (not to mention the 320 that go with the obligatory cheese coney appetizer), but I just can't get enough Skyline chili. Who would have thought that a soupy meat sauce flavored with cinnamon and chocolate laid to rest on a thick bed of spaghetti noodles and topped with copious amounts of shredded cheese could be so addicting? If you don't like Skyline Chili, we're no longer friends. If you dare suggest Gold Star Chili as an acceptable substitute for Skyline, I will punch you in the kidneys. Skyline or Bust.

Chipotle Burritos
You think Skyline is bad for calories? Try one of these giants on for size. According to the "Chipotle Nutrition Calculator 2.0", my weapon of choice boasts 1015 calories in a single burrito. On certain occasions, I have been known to toss down 2 in one sitting, but since that borders on gluttonous behavior, I have decided to henceforth refrain from such activities. Throw in some of the Chipotle Tabasco sauce and I'm in heaven.

What do you get when you take a bunch of leftover scrap pork, mix it with steel-cut oats & shape it into a fryable loaf? That's right - God's gift to Cincinnati. At first glance, Goetta seems like a way for peasant-like people to get the most out of all of their butchering scraps by seasoning them and adding oats as a filler, but this is far from accurate. No - Goetta is for the highest of classes. Originally labelled as a breakfast food as a substitute for sausage or bacon, goetta has broken from the stereotypes and forced it's way into the lunch/dinner/midnight snack discussion. It's gotta be Glier's Goetta though...anything else pretty much tastes like crap.

Here's another example of a food item that has broken from the breakfast-only realm of sustenance to an all-day-any-day type of nourishment. So many people will agree with this one that I will just let it ride...

Wanna see a food that has a bad reputation for no reason? Broccoli's your man. However, I've stuck with it through thick and thin, and we've become best buds. No matter which way it's prepared, I'm always up for a little broccoli action; raw, steamed, casserol'd, baked, fried, boiled - all are delicious. The only exception to this is the occasional large stem with which some heads are endowed. The simple remedy for this is to cut them in cross-sections and pretend they're little edible turtles. That always makes my day just a little brighter.

I could go on and on for days about foods I love, but I will end my list here because I'm salivating too heavily to continue. Stay tuned for another installment of "Foods I love"!


  1. Skyline is a hell of a lot better minus the cheese. I'm just sayin'.

  2. the description on that goetta website is hilarious. it made my mouth water too -Al

  3. You have to be more specific on cereal and broccoli that is overcooked is disgusting.

  4. How about this for cereal: I love all of it.

    I don't even mind overcooked broccoli...put some garlic salt on it and you're good to go!

  5. Lucas! You rock! This positive entry brightens my day! I'm picking up goetta on my way home today... just because of this article.

  6. What about brussel-sprouts? - you were my only child that would eat them.

  7. You know, Brussels Sprouts may be included in my next edition of "Foods I hate". I don't know where that whole train got derailed, but they don't agree with me anymore.