Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Domo Arigato

You know what makes me sick?

You know what makes me so angry, I just want to go out and buy one of those large flying saucer looking vacuum cleaners that finds its own way to all the dust in my house while I sit around fattening myself up on Tabasco Slim Jims and Mountain Dew?

This robot.

Really, what's the deal here? What? Are humans not good enough to dance goofy around a spinning football? Does the robot really do a better "The Fish" than a real human being?

I see what's really going on here. The evil modern media has long been trying to anthropomorphize animals. Now NFL on Fox has taken it a step further by trying to convince us that this dancing image of a robot is basically a person too. 'A little harsh,' you say, because a lot of people have said that to me lately? 'No!' I say, because I've seen the evolution of this accursed robot. First NFLOF had this stupid robot mimic a football player warming up. Then it moved on to more human activities like writing poetry and finding true love. Now it's dancing. What's the end game here? Is every object going to be said to possess humanity except humans?

Wake up, America!!

I got so mad watching this robot dance during the Bengals butt-whipping of the Bears, that, feeling like DDR's version of John Connor, I grabbed a football to prove that at least one human had moves more smoove than a robot. Lucas jumped up to join the resistance, and Steve got so hyped up by our action he flew across the basement to see what was happening. Lucas sprained an ankle, I lost all sense of direction, hit a wall and knocked myself unconscious, and Steve got so covinced the football was actually a dustbunny that he ended up popping it with his fangs. Scared him so bad he shot off quicker than Astro Boy. We haven't seen him since. Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, for taking away our cat. I tell you NFL on Fox is just wrong.

This is Bill E, native human, E off.

1 comment:

  1. Great stuff, Bill, keep it up!

    Any post that will rile up any robots reading ACNS Enterprises Ltd. enough to start the e-Doomsday revolution is very welcome. And it would be a great way to end Obama's first year in office with a bang!