Goodbye single people! As I am about to journey off into the world of marriage I am encountering some stiff verbal opposition to my vocation, especially from co-workers. In order to properly grasp their perspective I am going to take a step back from my own motivations to get married, and instead see the world through their eyes to better understand the impact of spending the rest of my life with the soon-to-be Mrs. Buck. Based on all of their comments I have been able to draw the following conclusions that may be beneficial for you to understand as well. I found all of these things rather eye opening, and they almost made me take a split second to reconsider my vocational decision. Almost. The list of married truths goes something like this:
1. Over a long enough period of time a woman will suck every ounce of independence out of a man and destroy his individual identity.
2. Television, videogames, and excessive drinking will be pushed to a low priority
3. Sex becomes limited to one person forever, and it will become less frequent and more boring with each passing day.
4. A shared bank account is equivalent to digging a bottomless pit and throwing all of your hard earned money over the edge.
5. The new unbreakable rule with the rest of the female population is Don't Touch. Just Look.
6. Financial priorities will be geared towards the future rather than the present.
7. The proper age to discern marriage is no sooner than 35, and should be closer to 40 if possible.
I hope this was as helpful to you as it has been for me. Despite all of these warnings I am strongly considering going forward with the wedding this Saturday, and taking a risk at the expense of all 7 items above for the possibility that something greater could occur. You can call me rebellious or stupid for giving up such personal freedom, but I feel pretty good about this whole married thing at the young age of 26, and I think Mrs. Buck is going to be the sweetest addition to my life since the Teen Age Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon back in 1988.