For just one day in my life, I would like to have a mustache. Not just any old mustache, but a Burt Reynolds meets Sam Elliot meets Alex Trebek (when he had a mustache) clashing of the titans of superior upper-lip hair follicles. The only problem is in today's American culture, the mustache gets a bad rap. It's commonly associated with perverts, white trash, and Metallica fans (is that redundant?). I think that could change, but only if proper mustache growing, trimming, and grooming procedures were properly instituted and executed. Admittedly, if I were to grow one without some sort of mustache performance enhancement (check your spam folder for great offers!), I might scare my own mother. But hey, it never hurt anyone to dream...
For those of you (ladies included!!!) that can grow a mustache, I suggest we (you) take it back for the good of society! I'll be cheering you on - every hair of the way.
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