Friday, September 18, 2009

Don't Mess with Steve

There I am trying to navigate the stormy waters of a contract negotiation for my vast time and energy I put in here at ACNS. You would think this type of thing would go smoothly, you know, since I currently don't get paid anything for my witty and wise words. I'm not asking for much, maybe just a weekly pay"box" of Little Debbie Brownies.

But as I'm sitting there peacefully talking with the CEO(Lucas) trying to scratch out the finer details of the arrangement, I feel the searing pain of claws digging deep(okay, really it was just a few light scratches) into my forearm. Well, well it looks like we have a third party in the negotiations I didn't know about, that would be Vice President of Operations (aka Steve). Needless to say the downturn in the negotiations left me with few options in getting what I felt I rightly deserved (Little Debbie brownies) ... well that, and one large pain-filled tear.

What was I to do? Let me list out my options for you.

1. I could write a complaint to HR, citing employee abuse. But guess who sits on the review board for those complaints? That's right, Lucas and Steve.

2. I would attempt to write a letter to my congressman, but guess who runs the mail room? You would be right again, Steve. And don't try to tell me he doesn't scan those letters for fishy(ha, get it) content!

3. Or ... I could slink back home to fulfill my quota of ACNS posts, so I can attempt to avoid getting verbally and emotionally scolded again by my manager ... Steve.

So for now it doesn't seem as if those sweet walnut-topped plastic-wrapped 12-squares-in-a-box Little Debbie brownies will be coming my way. But next time I can muster up enough gumption to take on Lucas and Steve, I'll be back. See you in a couple years!

This post just serves as a warning for those who dare challenge the powers at be. They will lure you in with some nice talk about being friends, Little Debbie brownies, and other nice sounding what-nots, then when you least expect it .....

... be afraid.


  1. I tried to warn you before it happened! He's by far the most vocal member of the board. I asked him if we had the Little Debbie brownies in the budget, and he said we were having cash flow issues...Then he told me we all needed to buckle down in this tough economy - and then went golfing. I'm what you would call a "hostage" CEO...

  2. Justin, you could always appeal to Lucas' Mama. Steve is afraid of me. He runs away when I hiss at him.

  3. Oh and I can still take Lucas.