I noticed Lucas was not such a popular guy after bearing his very soul to share some of his least favorite foods earlier this week. Why are you readers out there offended that he might find tomatoes, mushrooms, mayo, and seafood gross? Chances are you find certain foods absolutely appalling that make other people's mouths water. All in all I thought Lucas' list of foods were at least common with thousands of other people's dislikes and not super out of the ordinary. You want to know what is out of the ordinary and should make you so angry you could punch yourself in the neck? ME.
I am hands down the pickiest eater in the ENTIRE WORLD. Let this be a challenge. I will pay someone $100 who proves to me they are a grown adult that is pickier than me (although you can't have some special condition). BRING IT! Here's the thing... for the most part, I don't even have logical reasons behind my madness. At least Lucas gave you an argument. I just have been this way since the age of 2, and my stubbornness never lost a battle to mom ad dad at the dinner table. It's not that they were bad parents and didn't try to get me to eat my broccoli; it's simply that my stubbornness does not compromise. Now at the age of 26, I am the awkward picky eater guy that gets invited over for dinner and still moves things around on his plate to pretend like he at least tried everything. Should I start to list things off? Will you be able to handle this?? Here's just a handful of my insanity. I do NOT eat:
- 95% of desserts (including chocolate. that's right, ladies...chocolate)
- All fruits with the exception of orange juice. I freakn' love orange juice.
- 99% of vegetables. I like potatoes and corn on the cob. To all you salad eaters, I think lettuce is just weird.
- peanut butter and jelly. The very staple of childhood lunches and half of Lucas' modern diet.
- lunch meats! I don't like slimy/cold meat. Meat belongs on the grill
- Condiments. BBQ, ketchup, and mashed potatoes are acceptable.
Keep in mind that these are just categories. Once we drill down into specifics the list gets pretty crazy long. You might be inclined to feel sorry for my limited "enjoyment" of life with such horrible eating standards. However, I make it through my days just fine so please feel sorry for the future Mrs. Buck who will have to put up with me. You also may be concerned for my health, and I appreciate that. Thank you. However, don't be concerned because to compensate for my eating habits I have been born into a family that lives close to forever. My great grandmother lived to be 109. My current grandmother is alive and kicking at the age of 100. My own mother is almost 70 and will probably outlive the both of them. With these home grown super genes I plan to balance out and live to a nice average age like the rest of you. Just to be safe I take a multi-vitamin.