I fear that I will never be one of the cool kids, that the bully will ALWAYS be there, looking over my shoulder, becoming a giant elephant that stays in whatever room I'm in.
Damn Cincinnati sports teams. All they do is tease. A day after it was announced that the Reds have the best ERA in the majors, Bronson Arroyo goes out and gives up 9 runs in 1+ inning. When the Reds have gotten good pitching, they usually can't hit the broad side of a barn. It seems like it's been happening this way for years in some capacity. When the Reds pitch, they can't hit, and when they hit, their pitching looks little league-esque. I just want a team that can put it all together for once.
This isn't exclusive to the Reds. For years and years, the Bengals have shown flashes of potental for a run into the playoffs, or at staying in contention for the latter part of the season. The only time they get to the playoffs since I've been a fan, freaking Kimo Von Oelhoffen has to chew up Carson Palmer's knee and spit it out, leaving the legendary Jon Kitna to pioneer the Bengals against the Steelers in the playoffs. I have no doubt in my mind that the Bengals would have won that game had they had Palmer in good form.
On a positive note, our resident minor league hockey team, the Cincinnati Cyclones won the Kelly Cup Championship last year. Nobody cares. Not only are they a hockey team, they're a minor league hockey team at that. The only draw to their games are $1 PBR nights, which by comparison to $7.25 beers at a Reds or Bengals game is pretty good, so I will give them props in that department, but not for playing hockey or being minor leaguers. Seriously - play a real sport.
Until Cincinnati figures it out and starts learning how to hang out with the cool kids in the playoffs, I will be forever be the coke-bottle glasses wearing, wooden sword weilding, hand-me-down clothes wearing, Star Wars-themed lego fan that I have always been.